Notes and open questions
This is more of a series of questions, and a reflection of what I have been thinking about life in general. Over the previous year, I’ve noticed that I have more questions than answers, which is funny since my posts from two or three years back are more didactic than my posts now. It is true that with every passing year you realise how little you know. A list of random questions/reflections I’ve been thinking of (Talking about random questions, Ashish Kulkarni asks his students to ask him five random questions at the end of his class. See why he loves it here.)
Are all founders smarty pants? Is every successful entrepreneur considered smart because figuring out how to make money is smart, or are the new age unicorn founders just simply smarter in terms of their knowledge of the world? A lot of these famous founders appear to be widely knowledgable, is it selection bias? Are they successful in business because of their expansive knowledge? Or is there a trait that makes them so knowledgeable and also successful at a business?
High agency people: I recently saw a tweet which said that it is surprising how the most successful people are also the people with great health, great relationships and overall more happy in life. I also read a post recently which talked about how a lot of the most successful people (and yes I am talking about the finance bros, the tech bros, the quants, the techies and the hedge fund guys, even lawyers if i were to be generous) are actually competent and smart. I have been thinking of such people as high agency people (this is definitely a phrase I have picked up from somewhere, can’t remember where). These folks take the matters in their own hands, and solve whatever problem they are facing, in whatever part of their life. Which, as a result, gives compounded gains over all. How do you become a high agency person? Is it sheer perseverance? Is it conditioning? Do my parents have to be such to make me one? Do i have to read a book about it? Will a YouTube video change me?
Solve it, solve it: I have had a belief I’ve held for a long time i.e. if you’re really smart, there are very few trade offs for you. What I mean to say is, if you’re a bloody smart chap, you will figure out a way to get most things without having to sacrifice one for the other. E.g. most high paying jobs give you no time to think. Most jobs that give you time to think are not well paying. This is a very standard trade off. But if you’re really smart, you will either find a sweet spot that gives you time and also pays you well. Or, you will convince someone to pay you a lot and still not overburden you with work because that’s how badly they want you. But I honestly don’t know how do you reach there. It is also quite frustrating to not be bloody smart already. Anyway, how do you bridge the gap between smart and brilliant? Is it iteration? Is it seeking esoteric knowledge and gaining insights by mystical means? I am also mostly convinced that the only way to be decently smart is to read across disciplines and to follow a stochastic model of curiosity, but to what extant - when does it tip in favour of brilliance? Alternatively if you can help a poor chap with interest in technology, law, policy and economics better understand the canvas of choices available of meaningful and important things to do - please contact yours truly!
A meaningful life: A meaningful life because a happy life is an illusion. At best what you can hope for is that the struggles you have to undertake are struggles of your choice and not compulsion. What makes a meaningful life? Since it is anyway some philosophical hokey pokey, how do you live a normal life while you are ‘figuring the meaning of your life?’ Is a decent life found in pockets of normalcy in a day, or do you have to tell yourself a story? I also recently saw a reel (even though most reels are trash, some of them have such insanely good storyline or content) in which the artist talked about how humans are ‘narrative beings’ and if there is no bigger narrative in life, humans will tend to submit to temporary and short term temptations. I asked myself what is the story I am telling myself? And I realised there is none. I live day by day. Even though I speak to myself almost constantly, and think about things deeply - I am not existing in a deeply crafted narrative of my life. Whenever I have built a narrative for me to contextualise my life, the results have been great. But what story do I tell myself? What story are you telling yourself?
Alone/ by yourself: As I went for my walk today I realised that I have always liked to go on long walks. As an undergrad student in University of Delhi during 2017 - 2020, I used to walk from this small locality called Satyaniketan to Anand Niketan, then to Moti Bagh and take a turn to come back to Satya (as we used to call it). There was no purpose of outlining the route, I just felt like it. Anyhow, on these walks, I am alone and I meditate on my thoughts. I am able to gain a lot of clarity about various things while on these walks. While on today’s walk I was thinking about the nature of being. On one hand, I love being by myself and having complete autonomy over my day. On the other hand, it gets boring1 at times and I feel the absence of a partner. But mostly it is the songs, and the movies and the couples around you which deepen your want of a companion (Oh no! Is it social conditioning after all?). Apparently you should be with someone if you like them for who they are, and not because of the things that they tell you. And you have to like them for the right reasons. You can’t like them for reasons that don’t matter to you. I did not know finding a partner was this difficult. Although with time, I have become much more comfortable with being by myself and thankfully I am in no rush to find someone.2 But I have also realised that having a partner has many upsides! (and after all it is not only social conditioning!)
Smart people become smarter via community: I remember speaking to Shruti Rajagopalan last year and one of my questions to her was how do I retain my curiosity with a demanding job? And her answer was to be part of a community of curious people. I have known this advice for around a year now, but sadly have not gotten around to implement it. I recently put this tweet out asking people if they would like to ‘compare notes’ (a phrase I picked up from Sajith Pai) about technology, Law, Policy, Economics. I plan to execute the first part of this by starting to create a community. I love creating communities.3 I hope this materialises and I get to learn many many things. In case you would like to talk about something you think is interesting and more people should know about it, please always feel free to bombard my socials.
What does it take to go from 0 to 1? This is a little heartfelt story. It was the summer of 2021, I was attending online classes of my law school. I had taken out an educational loan to fund my studies. One summer night there was a storm and the electricity supply got cut. It remained cut for over two days. I remember waking up very early that morning, because I was feeling very hot. The fan had stopped working because the inverter had run out of power. It must be around 5 am. Not being able to sleep, I decided that it was best to go to the terrace since that way I could enjoy the morning breeze. I remember I was reading 0 to 1 by Peter Theil. I took my book to the terrace and started reading. I remember stopping abruptly in the middle and asking myself, ‘Have I dared to dream beyond my capacity?’ Is this loan a bad bet? I thought, I come from a place where I don’t even have a regular supply of electricity, am i even supposed to be successful and ambitious? I remember the absolute terror that filled my veins as I questioned my own ambition. I never want to ever feel that again. That helpless feeling of having a bounded future. There is no climax to the story if you are waiting for it. As you would know, I work now and am paying off my loan. I did not go from 0 to 1. I am a very regular employee of a very regular profession. But I want to. I desperately want to. I want the power law. I want the asymmetrical returns. I want the jobs that haven’t been created yet. I don’t want conventional wisdom and boundaries. So naturally the question that almost always runs in my head is, what do I have to do to go from 0 to 1. What is the Talisman? I have not arrived at any answer. The closest approximation of an answer is that you have to chase what interests you genuinely, and make bets on yourself. But both of those things are difficult to execute. What is your Talisman? How do you plan to go from 0 to 1?
My brain is mostly a mush with too many thoughts, and not enough execution. But I think it is important to think deeply, very very deeply about these things. It is worth obsessive over the details. In the end it is your life, you better obsess over it :)
On a side note, dating someone because you’re bored is definitely the wrong way to do it.
In a more honest sense, I have given up the idea of finding someone who makes sense. Someone who you look at and think okay now I have reached my destination.
I used to run a Whatsapp group where I would post interesting stuff I found around the internet during the pandemic, at its peak I think there were 500-600 people associated with it.